When we hear people talk about love, how often do we think our primary relationship with our self? Pause for a moment and think – how often have you thought about self-love? What does self-love really mean? How do we practice self-love?
The topic of self-love is everywhere these days, and for a good reason. Let us read more to understand the concept of self-love and ways to practice it.
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
“Loving yourself… does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion” ~ Margo Anand.
THE IDEA OF SELF-LOVE
Few years’ ago, if someone told me to “love myself”, I was going to pull one of the gravity-defying martial arts stunts from Kung Fu Hustle against the person telling me this!
No seriously, what is self-love? Is it all about taking a bubble bath, going for shopping and applying cucumber mask on my face?
I was averse to the idea of thinking about self-love. Why? Maybe I was too occupied in my “life” to give it a thought! The term self-love played no significance to me then.
However, I must admit that things are different today. I have learnt the deeper meaning of self-love through some of the life experiences, not necessarily pleasant but surely, eye-opening.
Today, I understand what self-love is, and no, it isn’t restricted to pampering yourself but is much more profound.
THE JOURNEY
About a few years ago, I went through a rough patch in my life. I was in a bad place emotionally.
It got to the point when I began thinking that I have devoted so much of my time and energy into things to work out, that unknowingly, I have abandoned my own needs.
I gave away the power and responsibility of my happiness to everyone but me!
As surprising it may sound, I struggled to eat, failed to think reasonably, disconnected myself socially. Maybe, I thrived on stress. Unfortunately, I kept mechanically working throughout the day and late nights, thinking this is how I ought to live from now.
One day, I asked myself what is it that has gotten me here? Have I unknowingly stopped to love myself? Is this lack of self-love? What is it?
I knew if I stop loving myself, it is nearly impossible for me to love other people. There is something that I need to do.
I relentlessly search for the meaning of self-love.
After all, isn’t self-love the foundation on which we build a happy life?
UNDERSTANDING SELF LOVE
I once came across Reynolds, David K. Construction Living, – “Feelings follow behaviour”. The read is pretty interesting.
Your brain is always watching what you do in order to decide how to feel. If you love yourself or maybe act as if you love yourself, your brain will be forced to conclude that you really love yourself, and it will generate feelings to match this thought.
Your behaviour has a direct impact on your feelings.
Have you ever observed this – Sometimes or most of the times we look in the mirror, aren’t we instantly drawn to our imperfections? All we see is the dark circles, undone eyebrows, messy hair and oh what not!
I’m sure that I am not alone to have these kinds of thoughts.
Can we overcome these thoughts? Thankfully yes!
There are many things that you can do to develop a healthy relationship with yourself. You can learn to silence your monkey mind, train your subconscious mind, cultivate mindfulness, meditate and the list is vast.
There are tons of things that you can do but FOR NOW, I will focus and strongly suggest you start with “SELF-LOVE”
Self-love is unique and different for each person. The meaning of self-love evolves just like we do.
To me, self-love is being aware of how you’re feeling and what makes you feel better.
Loving your self does not mean you think you’re the richest, smartest or the most beautiful person in the world. Instead, when you love yourself with your weaknesses and flaws, you actually comprehend “who you are”.
It is all about accepting us as the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the strong, the weak – all of it –and appreciating ourselves as a whole.
WHAT HAVE I LEARNT ABOUT SELF-LOVE?
The most important lesson I have learnt in my life is to love myself!
I recognized that I love my alone time to sit with my thoughts and how meditation lift my spirits high!
I accept myself fully and deeply. Today, I treat myself with kindness and respect and nurture my growth and well-being.
I guarantee you that when you love yourself fully, you feed your soul and become the highest version of yourself.
Accepting and taking care of yourself helps you feel comfortable in your own skin. It brings calmness in life.
I have also come to terms that self-love need not be “discovered”. We all have it with us. All we need to do is to remind ourselves to “activate it”!
Loving your self does not mean you think you’re the richest, smartest or the most beautiful person in the world. Instead, when you love yourself with your weaknesses and flaws, you actually comprehend “who you are”.
HOW SELF-LOVE BREEDS INNER HAPPINESS
When your opinion of yourself improves, you stop seeking external validation. Inner stability boosts your confidence.
When you are comfortable with who you are, you engage in things that bring you happiness and meaning to your life.
When you feel fulfilled from within, you feel happier inside out.
5 SIMPLE STEPS TO PRACTICE SELF-LOVE
Now that we have a deeper understanding of self-love, do yourself a favour, take a deep breath, and practice the following to bring out that gorgeous, confident and happy woman locked inside you:
1. ACCEPT AND ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF
“Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.” ~ Unknown.
Once we truly accept who we are and the way we are, we create connections to ourselves.
Until you start acknowledging and crediting your efforts and start embracing true you, you may not be able to infuse happiness into your life.
Some of the ways to do it are:
- Forgive yourself for mistakes
Forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others. Guilt is toxic. Do not allow toxic thoughts to make them comfortable in your mind. Destroy it.
- Acknowledge your strength
Do you make note of your strengths? Or do you, like many of us, focus on mistakes mores? Think about your strengths, it may take a while, but list it down.
Remember, it’s perfectly fine to claim something as your strength and acknowledge it.
- Embrace your weakness
Running away from your weakness will not take away that weakness from you. Instead, embrace it.
Embracing the weakness is the only way to work on them. Unless you know your weakness, how will you work on it and how will you turn it into one of your strengths?
- Appreciate the smallest /simplest things of life
Often, we tend to ignore some of the simplest things in life. It can be as simple as the first sip of tea in the morning or enjoying the rainy day with a company of good music and a cup of coffee.
Now tell me, how often have we appreciated these simple moments?
Once we truly accept who we are and the way we are, we create connections to ourselves.
2. MAKE EACH DAY COUNT
Start with your morning! Start your day right and it will tone the set of the rest of your day. It’s really up to us to choose those things that make each day count.
“Each day you wake up, you wake up with billions around the world but when the sun sets, not all retire. It is a joyful privilege to note that you are a unique person among billions of people who wake up each day to walk on the surface of the earth. It is a noble responsibility to note that you have to use this privilege effectively.” ~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah.
3. BE KIND & GRATEFUL
Be thankful for what we have and who we are.
With our busy lives, we often forget to recognize the blessings that are showered upon us in many ways every single day.
Have you noticed how good it feels to offer a helping hand or sharing a smile with someone? Does it not, somewhere, heal our soul too?
4. BE POSITIVE
Start your every day by telling yourself something really positive.
How brave you are, how well you handle all situations, how lovely you look and feel today.
Say anything that makes you smile and feel positive.
5. BE YOU
Always remember, you’re the only person that’s with you all day. Make it worthwhile.
Don’t try to be someone you are not. One way to practice self-love is to recognize that you are YOU for a reason. There is no one on this planet like you, so do not compare yourself to another person. For instance, I am naturally bubbly within my close circle, and in groups, I am a little reserved.
If I try to change those things or try to fit myself in every group, I get exhausted. I do not want anything that tires my mind. Instead, I choose to not waste my time in the things that don’t need to be changed. I prefer to focus on the things that enhance my abilities that make me ME.
Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.
CONCLUSION
Self-love is not about being self-absorbed or narcissist, it is all about getting in touch with our well-being, our happiness and ourselves. It is an attempt to accept yourself of who you are, where you are, right now.
Let me tell you that self-love is a journey and there are no right ways and wrong ways to follow it.
When you understand that self-love is an ongoing process only then you will learn to appreciate it and practice it on an everyday basis. You will be able to see the progress and you’ll soon enjoy a sense of self-love and inner peace that you never had before!
If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it your friends or sharing it on Facebook or Twitter! Thank you.
Follow us on Instagram for some vibrant feed. 🙂
